Table of Contents
Preface
We are the weeds
Tale of a cat
Late November’s winter
Tree thoughts
That one Christmas
Devoted to the goddess of music
Visit to the coffee truck
Girl with no soul
The Lovers upright
I’m a mountain
The grass at Midnight
Spirit Realm
~
Preface
This collection of poems has many themes, but all in all it comes down to humanity and divinity. There is nostalgia, nature, love and spirituality embedded into each of these pieces because in my own experience, that is what makes me feel most alive. I explore the faults of humanity while also acknowledging the pain we experience as a species. I humanize the natural world and connect it to some source of divine energy because the moments I have been closest to elevating into that higher source were all in the natural world. I wanted to remind people why we should honor and respect the natural world through these pieces as well. Overall, this collection is meant to be a spiritual journey of its own: powerful, transformative, dark at times, but always coming out of the tunnel and into the light.
~
We are the weeds
When nature begs us to look in the mirror,
it is easy to shy away
pretend that everything outside of us is to blame.
Remember the stories embedded in the trees,
in the grass, in the clouds, in
everything.
Talk to the earth, become her,
hear her when she cries for us to question ourselves.
Eve ate the apple because she wanted a taste of truth,
but how much was greed?
How many apples would she need to satiate her hunger?
Earth is a growth planet that gives us something more priceless than any material luxury.
Do you ever wonder what we can give back?
Sacrifice the safety net of ego.
What is humanity?
~
Tale of a cat
Paws slide through wet grass as I push them out in front of me.
Flexing my shoulder blades,
a small purr rolls off my tongue.
The sun snuggles softly on my back,
the moment is pure bliss.
I am suddenly full of gratitude.
A rough scratching reaches my ears,
my body moves to a low crouch.
The tall being walks by,
his large foot hits a nearby rock.
Stupid clumsy thing.
As it flies in my direction,
my hind legs catapult me out of the rock’s path.
It lands softly on the flattened grass where I sat
just before.
Once a luscious day,
but that tall being traipsed through.
Stomping on my peace,
stealing my gratitude.
~
Early December’s winter
Blues turned gray
like the painter in the sky entered a new period.
“Winter” he called it.
Leaves once orange and red,
grew dark brown, trampled into the ground.
Now the leaves were bare,
their trunks looking pale gray,
the branches reaching up and touching the sky.
The winds are screaming banshees.
They bite the skin of anyone who dares step out.
Melancholy beauty.
~
Tree Thoughts
A bird came to sit in my branches,
carrying twigs and leaves.
she would come by now and then,
add to her little nest
and fly away.
Sometimes for days,
or for hours.
She would sing and chat with other birds
I listened.
Heard them connect.
Saw them play.
Watched them fly into the white clouds
I so desperately want to brush my leaves through.
Birds, I envy.
Not subject to the stillness.
But me,
my roots dig so deeply into earth
that I feel it all.
The pain, hurt, violence, betrayal.
passion too
and camaraderie
and love.
Oh, how I crave camaraderie
Oh, how I love love.
The bird came back today
she was alone
she talked to me.
I listened well,
begged every nature spirit
to give me the power to speak back.
But of course I couldn’t,
the bird got bored, flew away.
Then a little girl stopped by,
looked up my trunk
into the head of leaves at the top.
Her eyes pure like the sun.
She sat down, talked to me,
pretending fairies lived at my root,
making up stories about what my rustling leaves were saying.
I thought, “this is love”.
Soon enough her parents came,
she was lost.
I never saw her again.
That is my life,
time is so fleeting to humans and birds.
Who can move,
be free.
For me,
things just cycle out,
they leave and then it’s me and the sun and the bright blue sky once again.
~
That One Christmas
I remember the night before,
my dad lifted me up high
to place the angel gently atop the tree,
the proud smiles of my mom and sister on my back.
I remember when we woke up that morning,
racing to wake our parents,
eager and young.
We shredded wrapping paper
so fast, it littered our living room
like loads of confetti.
I remember the zuzu pets skittering around,
my sister’s laugh filling the room as she watched.
My gift was a pink ds,
I remember opening the Barbie game for it first.
That gave it away,
but I didn’t care.
I still remember when it felt warm.
Before it all went bad.
Before our family fell apart.
~
Devoted to the goddess of music
Shutting off the world,
pulling the heavy black headset over my head.
I can drown it out.
Crashes, groovy tones, screaming, softly singing,
the music packs my bags for me,
takes me somewhere I’m safe.
The lyrics pop out at me,
gentle reminders that I should write
something this beautiful.
When my soul is bared,
open, broken,
wanting to be saved,
she comes down from some heaven above
and drifts into my ear canals
to touch my heart.
Savior.
~
Visit to the coffee truck
The machine buzzes softly as he fills the cup with the hot black liquid
Sugar falls gently and disappears as quickly as it came
The satisfying crunch of the ice being mixed in
He hands it to me
And the cool cup comfortably nestles the palm of my hand
I take the first sip and bittersweetness melts onto my tongue
Sweet relief
~
Girl with no soul
“You have a heartless, cold face”
The words hit the deepest part of her chest,
embedded themselves in her.
So she became that.
She pulled away,
pushed away.
Dark thorny vines wrapped around her fortress,
those who came after tried to climb through,
her vines impaled them all.
Even when they begged at her drawbridge
for mercy,
the girl shut her gates.
Now she was finally alone
getting the peace and safety that only existed away from others.
She wanted this,
and now she must sit inside with only a small fire
to keep her cold chest from freezing to death.
None cared to save her after that.
The storybooks wrote her as heartless as her lover accused her of being.
So that is who she was.
~
The Lovers Upright
Under a glass dome,
the lovers lay on a soft blanket.
Beams of sun streak their faces,
music streams through the speaker
and butterflies inhabit the pits of both their stomachs.
Fingers laced together,
pink and red and white energy
trapped in the space between their hearts.
A pair of caramel eyes
locked with a pair dark as rich soil.
An ant rests on the edge of the blanket,
drawn to the two,
to the vibrations pulsing through the ground around them.
Up above it all,
wide eyes of a young girl wishing,
stares through the dome.
Finally,
she shakes the globe.
Tiny pink and red hearts flutter down,
covering the lovers
and they will rest on the girl’s desk as she grows,
forever this way.
Forever falling in love.
~
I’m a Mountain
The plates shifted, continents collided and then I rose and stood still.
I stood still for an eternity.
Longer than it took for me to come into existence,
longer than humans can conceptualize.
Not a mountain,
but a volcano.
I decide when I erupt and let it all go,
when my lava clumps
making igneous formations that have yet to be discovered.
Glistening crystals arise when I’m cooled down
But I decide.
No one pushes a mountain,
no being could.
You can only grip the rock with your hands,
lifting yourself higher up
or navigate your way around it,
but to move me is impossible.
To avoid my basalt wrath is impossible.
When the sea levels rise,
a wave crashes against my sharp edges,
fall into my crevices,
and the sea salt might change me.
Change I didn’t want,
that wasn’t decided by tectonics.
What can I do
but stand still as it all happens around me?
As my boiling internal pit dies down and I’m underwater little by little.
Eroding and fading until I’m just a softened rock
tightly buried at the bottom of the ocean floor.
~
The grass at midnight
I slowly moved to the ground,
felt the coolness of the dew
And my muscles relaxed.
Up in the sky
was a dark blue canvas waiting to be painted on.
I shut my eyes for a minute,
breathing in all the things I’d lost
and when I opened my eyes I saw it,
it was magnificent.
There was pouring rain
but bright colors flashed before my eyes.
Suddenly I was immersed in the colorful wetness.
It reminded me of you,
bright red and blue but cold.
Chilling in fact.
You were always conflicting within yourself.
And you were beautiful,
so much so that I didn’t realize I had drowned until the end of it all
like the sky that night on the grass.
Blinding colorfulness
Dripping from the clouds
vivid blues, reds, greens, and pinks
Drenching me in icy nostalgia.
Like neon rain
You were like neon rain.
~
Spirit Realm
Sapphic love
the women connect, blend
together like a painting, like one soul.
A man comes after me,
but the kind panda smiles.
“Who is he?”
Now beside me
he is warm.
“He is your ancestor”
“Am I ready?”
I think I am.
The panda eats her treats, until she’s sucking
on her hand.
Everything morphs
colors are gone
it’s just light and shadow.
Except for the observatory with a telescope on top.
Emerald grass around the building,
blood moon raining down on us.
It is divinity
like the love of two women.
Electric waves throughout my body,
my hands are stuck.
“Am I out of my body?”
No, not yet, but the words are.
The clog is gone,
now it all flows under the moon.
It is amazing what it can do,
how the rocks get thrown in all the time,
rippling.
Now the river is still.
“Is this enlightenment? Did I crack the code?”
I feel different.
The late hour brings psychosis.
The doubt returns,
abolish her.
I felt my ancestors,
felt it all melting into one.